18 Apr 2013

independence




Upon reflection of my days teaching small children I recollected the many whole group lessons I created on basic tasks such as how to hang up your painting and how to remove your lunch box from your bag and re-zip it so all and sundry wouldn't cascade on the floor below. We sat in small groups and practised cleaning up our paint spills with a damp cloth and tried every manner of stuffing the blocks into the shelf until we realised that an ordered approach worked best. My goal was to foster a certain independence in my class by providing them with step by step instructions on how to do everyday things. Success was inevitable when tasks where broken down into smaller increments and pride was palpable.

Yes there was mess, yes many lessons were repeated over and over in the early days eating into an already crammed curriculum but giving my charges the necessary tools to do things for themselves not only gave them great pleasure but made day to day learning so much easier and richer in the long term. My time could be spent facilitating deep learning as opposed to putting out spot fires on the clean up front. Maria Montessori's philosophy that children are capable and competent beings was (and still is) something I believed in very strongly. Our little people rise far beyond our expectations when given the ladder to do so.

In the hustle and bustle of family domesticity however, I found myself straying from these ideals.
I had morphed into a human cyclone wiping the table with one hand whilst stooping to pick up stray blocks with the other. Convenience reigned as completing tasks by myself was easier and quicker and shamefully indulged my perfectionist tendencies. I stood back and realised my little buddy was at my side throughout it all. Bijou was already a very eager and equally competent helper in the kitchen so I dusted off my teaching philosophies and went about increasing more opportunities for her to contribute to our daily world. These are some of the changes we are making:

  •  A cupboard rearrange made way for a thrifted basket filled with a set of cutlery, napkins       and coasters for our dinner. Placemats are kept nearby. I spent many early evenings demonstrating putting one placemat for each person in our family and retrieving the basket from the cupboard. Glasses were moved down low and Bijou was shown time and time again how to carry them one at a time to the table. This simple task is now labelled as her job and although somewhat time consuming in the beginning I am grateful for her help in that often crazy pre-dinner dash.
  • Perfection is not paramount. Her lopsided bed making is greeted with cheers of triumph and I give myself a sharp slap on the hand during the day if the desire to straighten it starts to overwhelm.
  • An old potato "chipper" has become the perfect knife for her and she now cuts fruit for our morning tea and vegetables for dinner in her Hi-Tot using her very own chopping board.  The haphazard shapes make me smile as I stir the soup pot and think of her growing independence. Similar tools can be found online at Michael Olaf.  We will soon add a masher, a safety vegetable peeler and egg slicer to her kitchen tools.
  • A small dustpan and brush was also purchased and we spent gentle time together practising holding the dustpan on an angle and sweeping slowly and carefully. The challenge was keeping the dustpan straight whilst navigating her way to the bin but over time she has mastered this and now comes from far and wide if there is a spill in house such is her eagerness to help.
  • Slowing down our days further to allow time to "teach" basic skills and explain why we do things a certain way has become the way we operate lately. We've learnt the hard way why we need to screw the lid on the milk not just place it there.
  • The mirror from an old baby toy was removed and adhered to a low bathroom cupboard door with blu-tak and many (oh yes many) lessons were had on squeezing just the right amount of toothpaste onto the toothbrush and brushing her teeth. She, like most children adores watching herself in the mirror. This simple addition to the bathroom has made the dreaded teeth brushing saga far more enjoyable. We always give them a quick going over also but I can really see how competent she is getting at this essential life skill.
  • A washer is always laid over the bath and we have practised turning on the tap gently, dampening the washer and squeezing it out using the sides of the basin to help. After meals we send her in to check her face in her mirror and tidy herself up if needed.
  • With the aid of a small step Bijou now helps with simple hand washing. She is responsible for hanging out the "smalls" on her little wooden washing line. (A piece of thin rope tied between two points would do the job). We chat merrily as I peg out the bigger garments and she takes care of all the little things. We invested in good quality pegs to give her the best chance of success I am ever on the hunt for a perfect Bijou sized washing basket for her to place her dry and folded washing in.
  • Morning tea has become a simple and predictable snack of peeled mandarin, chopped apple, grapes and a few cracker's with nut butter with a drink of milk sweetened with a whisker of honey and raw cacao powder. With all the ingredients and tools laid out for her my baby bird can make our mid morning nourishment almost entirely on her own.
Not only have these small changes begun to foster such wonderful independence in our girl but selfishly her help , even as small as it is has eased the day to day load. Her tasks have also added often much needed channelling of energy at peak times in the day. She views these roles as play and eagerly and excitedly cooperates with all manner of tasks while  revel in the understanding that a certain pride in completing the mundane is growing within in. Our daily rhythm is evolving around her contributions and I look forward to finding other ways for her to share in our adventures. These spaces provide never ending inspiration: how we montessori and an everyday story.

Do you involve your babies in your day to day world? What tasks do you have them help with and have you found any tools that have helped? I'd love for you to share.

Steph x

20 comments:

  1. really nice blog i liked it what a great photographyclean wooden floors

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  2. We have our 2 (3 &5) help with all tasks through out the day but 2 that I find really rewarding on both parts are:
    - all members of our family are responsible for selecting 2 meals a week, the kids are also responsible for cooking the evening meals they select (with various levels of assistance) but out 5 year old cooks pizzas and burritos completely independently.
    - when dry washing is brought in, each family member is responsible for collecting out of the basket the items that are theirs, folding them and putting them in their draws.

    There are lots more but these are the 2 we really enjoy and takes a good load off me!

    Love the post and LOVE your writing/photos. Your blog is my FAVOURITE of all time, so in tune with my own thoughts and philosophies. Very glad to have found you :)

    www.womanofwonder.blogspot.com.au

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    1. Oh I love these ideas Soph! We too are aiming for some more meal input but the choosing is a great way to start. ANd putting away the washing is fabulous. I've recently sorted all of Bijou's clothes baskets so she can access them herself so I can't see why we can't start learning to put them away. Thanks so much for sharing and for your kind words. Hope you have a beautiful week :) x

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  3. Thanks for the reminder....my perfectionist personality often gets in the way of allowing my kids to help with tasks around the house. I'm going to put lots of your tips into practise right away. Lovely photos as always and so much inspiration. I love your blog.

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    1. Thanks lovely Michelle for your kind words! Yes, I really have to step away and let it be....it's not perfect but it's done...and with such pride. Hope your week is lovely :) x

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  4. My little man Tom is looking at these photos with fascination. Tomorrow we are going to try some "big boy tasks" during our day. He is very curious as to what is going on here. This is such a lovely and inspiring post Steph. Thank you for sharing xo

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  5. Love this post so much I have linked to it . It fits in beautifully with a set of posts I have been writing about slowing down. I too had my children choose and cook a meal each week when they were younger. They had to choose the meal work out what we needed to purchase and make me a list. The child doing the cooking was spared the chore of washing up for that night.They have all left home now and i felt quite confident that they could feed themselves effectively.

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  6. I often feel overwhelmed or rushed these days, thanks for reminding me to slow down. It is so important to have the patience to teach these simple life skills and it really takes patience.

    I love the little washing line idea. I currently have Oscar help by counting and handing me pegs (he calls the peg basket his shop), but I'm sure he'd much rather be pegging himself. I'm also trying to have him learn to dress himself (he is two and a halfish), but he has shown little interest beyond choosing his undies (sometimes two pairs at once) – he declares he doesn't need any other clothes!

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  7. I adore this Steph! The notion of facilitating independence in our little ones falls completely in line with our parenting views. Even though a certain amount of patience is required in order for this to occur, the outcome in the long run is completely worth it. Although only 14 months old, Sage helps to clear away her own toys after play and she adores unpacking the dishwasher! She loves to use the lint brush on our clothing and has begun taking rubbish to the bin. Folding is near impossible with her in close proximity though - she loves destroying her mumma's neat piles! Little B is an absolute credit to you and the time and effort you obviously spend modelling and guiding in the most gentle of ways. xxx

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  8. I love your ideas and suggestions Steph! Bijou must be relishing in this extra independence and you are creating life skills too. My two set the table and Jude will often wash lunch dishes on the weekend and cook us pizza once a week..he even vacuums on occasion. I fold the washing and they put it away, but I love your idea of having Miranda hang out the smalls, I think she would adore that job! Jude is our weather guru (given his love of numbers) so his job is to tell us the forecast for the week and work out what we need to prepare for clothes and wet weather gear! IT is amazing how giving them little bits of responsibility makes them so much more eager to achieve! Have a wonderful end to your week lovely lady xx

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  9. Since Jarvis is my little shadow, it seemed only fitting that he help me do what ever I am. Yes washing takes forever, when your 16 month old wants to hand you one peg at a time, but I just remind myself how quickly they grow up and all too soon he won't want to hang out with Mum all day. His favourite task is to help with the cooking, even at his young age there are so many thing he can do.

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  10. It's so important to foster and nurture their independence and confidence at this age. Each of our five stood by my side and helped with many of our household chores until they were old enough to take the reins themselves and yes I too had to learn to stand back and let them be. As a result our older four are wonderful cooks with the older three sometimes taking the lead with our main meal. Likewise, they are more than capable with other household tasks. We taught them at a young age that being part of a family unit meant pitching in were they were able. I was once told by an acquaintance that she thought we abused our children by 'making' them do chores, where as I thought she was doing her children an injustice by not teaching them the basics of living. Funnily enough, when her oldest moved out of home a few years ago at age 20 he couldn't do a thing for himself and relied heavily on his mum...go figure.

    x

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  11. Thank you so much for these suggestions. I really like the idea of hanging a lower laundry line along with the normal one and the kitchen tool links are great too. I've been amazed at how much my older kids will help me now that I really need them to because of an infant.

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  12. I have to admit that I find it VERY hard stopping myself from "fixing" things that my daughter has done and I keep having to catch myself. There's been many times where my hand is actually already on whatever she's doing before I've realised and had to snatch my hand away and let her work it out. But it is so exciting when she finally nails it!! I also get a lot of inspiration from How we montessori & an everyday story - such good blogs (as is yours, of course!!) :-)

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  13. Great post! You've given me lots of ideas. I have to remind myself to step back and be patient while the kids learn to do household tasks by themselves. I love that they love to help out (and don't see it as a chore, yet). Among other things, I fold the clothes, they put them away. They help with sock matching and rolling the pairs together. They also enjoy dusting (!) and will happily wipe skirtings and cabinets (!) with a damp cloth

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  14. I love this. I'm a firm believer in letting the little ones help out with daily tasks :)

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  15. my little one at nearly three is becoming so independent and will rush off after breakfast to dress herself and make her bed (i too have to slap my hand if i am tempted to straighten in during the day). she loves to help out with food preparation and caring for our dog. many children this age love to help out and i think we as parents need to challenge ourselves to slow down and let them contribute. i was always in a rush with my teenage daughters when they were young and often ended up doing everything myself as it was easier. later when i expected that they were old enough to help they weren't interested and i would end up nagging.

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  16. A beautiful post Steph with lots of wonderful ideas I want to implement here in our little household with Grace... currently, she helps me unstack the dishwasher, occasionally will set the table, will put away her knickers and singlets, 'helps' with washing by unpegging dry clothes and has just begun to show interest in making her bed (which I too have to resist neatening up)... The excitement on her face as she helps and feels important is priceless. you are doing such a wonderful job Steph instilling such values and skills into your little ones as they go about their days xx

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  17. I love this post too... every morning I remind my 4 year old precious girl to put her pyjamas under her pillow and to make her bed.. totally agree, it's far from straight and perfect but the fact that she even lifts up the blankets and moves them is good enough for me.. when she finishes her snacks she will always take her bowls back to the sink and if she needs water she will get it herself.. the most rewarding one as a mum for me is that she takes a shower herself.. I have her body wash and sponge down low and easy to access, she will wash her self, dry herself, moisturise her body and get dressed in her pyjamas.. I hope it continues!

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  18. Gorgeous thoughtful changes! I would love to see more :)

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Your words brighten my day! Thank-you so much for joining me on my adventure. x