6 Jun 2014

my own space


Sara Avant Stover, author of The Way of the Happy Woman, talks of every woman needing a sacred space just for herself. A necessary requirement for whole womanhood and not a fickle luxury.  I have read her words time and again and nodded at their sentiments; a space all to oneself to ponder, create and evolve. But the realities of a small post war cottage meant carving out such a space was quite simply impossible. Or had I fallen too deeply into the selflessness well that I not only couldn't find a way but sadly, couldn't see its worth.

But lately I've found my constant giving, more often than not at the expense of myself  has started to plant a seed of resentment. I'm frightened that with proper care this emotion will continue to grow. Left unpruned it will likely wrap it's greedy tendrils around the strong beliefs I have in my role as a stay at home Mumma; my martyrdom may very well cripple all that I hold dear. So with a change of perspective I reevaluated our home. Clothes were sorted, cupboards were purged and this and that was juggled about in order to find a small space just for me. And against a wall of our bedroom I found it. Rich hued timber, simple and beautiful embellishments, though just a few. A candle and a clear work surface. 

Here I sit and sip peppermint tea and stare out the window while Remy sleeps.  Sometimes I'm compelled to pick up my favourite 2B pencil and scribe my thoughts. Others, I just curl my fingers around my steaming cup and watch the afternoon shadows creep in.   I'm beginning a mediation practise here in the early morning, I've set loose goals and sketched, I've even painted my fingernails.There are no rules here.

And when Bijou asked if she could sit and colour in I paused briefly before answering , "No." with tenderness and without guilt.  My world is their world and I give them love and time unconditionally. But this space is my own. A tiny piece of this earth that is just for me and everyone deserves a little somewhere all of their own.  


Steph x

13 comments:

  1. Oh Steph your words are written so eloquently echoing how I have those feelings too. A space just to ourselves I think is a need, a treasure so that we can come and be ourselves especially when we share so much of ourselves daily. Your space looks beautiful and I can picture you sitting and enjoying some quiet time:) Have a beautiful weekend. xx

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  2. I think this may be the best post you've ever written. I'm inspired! X

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  3. Well done for making a space for yourself. We mothers too often let our needs fall to the wayside - I know I am a culprit. Thank you for reminding me about Sara's book. I think I will pull it out this evening (once the children are asleep) and have another read. May your space provide much peace. Linda. x

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  4. I have had these thoughts as well recently and like you we live a a small 80 year old cottage and every space is used by people and things. I think you may have inspired me to look again, my space doesn't need to be grand. Beautifully written and a lovely space you have created. xx

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  5. I dream of this a lot. I can see it in the future but it is still a while away.

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  6. It's a relief to read this as I struggle with this all the time.. I've resorted to getting rid of my personal stuff as I feel I will never have my own little space to put or display things in. Everyone else does. My husband has an entire room! So glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this.. Good for you x

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  7. Steph, there is not one post of yours that I don't experience a wealth of feelings, often goosebumps, sometimes tears and always peace and tranquility. Thank you for your beautiful words. Flick x

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  8. Such beautiful words! Thank-YOU lovely soul xxx

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  9. The last paragraph is a stern reminder to reclaim a little space for me. Thank you kindly.

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  10. It's a lovely little space - so important for everyone to have their own little part of the world that is theirs and no-one else's, just for them to do just what they want. xx

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  11. I wholeheartedly agree with you Steph and it has been something that I have been working towards these last few months. I have been looking at the little areas in our home, moving things around, getting rid of things and scouting around for the perfect desk or table, which I can see in my minds eye, suitably weathered and worn. Your little space looks wonderful. Enjoy! xo

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  12. I love that book; I somehow came upon it at a bookshop in LA years ago, and I knew I had to buy it. I'm so glad I followed that hunch. I re-read it constantly, and at the beginning of each season. Love this post x

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  13. This is something I feel the need to create too. Where? Who knows. I will create a space - an hour - for me - alone. This is something I have been thinking about. To think of all those hours pre-children that just whiled away!

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Your words brighten my day! Thank-you so much for joining me on my adventure. x