this morning

It's just you and me today. Grass, gumboots and apple pieces; no plans. I peg out your nappies and you water the weeds peppering our easy silence with your melodious nattering.  The plane overhead catches your particular attention and you scrunch your nose at the sun's glare to catch a glimpse of it. The lawn needs mowing.

We share a milky cup of tea and I watch your hand on my knee. The dimples less defined now as the baby becomes a boy. Tethered by an invisible thread of knowing and love you never stray too far from my side returning often to "cuddle Mumma". Your tiny hands bear gifts of flowers, unripened tomatoes and stones. A butterfly dries it's wings on the stairs nearby and I breathe deeply to still my body and quell the riot in my mind.

There are swirling dreams to follow and mountains to conquer and  at times the responsibility of this role can stifle and hem me in. This simple path I tread squirms against societal expectations....it challenges my own. The yearning to do more, to be more. But when I wade through the sludge of to-do's and should-do's I find a calm. For now, I am all I need to be; your Mumma.

We make a cake for our honey girl and you eat the flour from the bowl. I smile at the lessen you have learnt and reward your curiosity with the battery spoon. A muddled day of porridge, one lost kindy shoe and washing up. An inward reflecting day. A slow and gentle day - just you and me.

Steph x